Hello again! Four months ago, I was just an everyday girl searching for love online. I also used dating apps, and occasionally, a friend would set me up. Wait a minute…does every girl’s voice go out every five minutes for thirty seconds because they just had a VNS device put in to prevent seizures? I must say, it is not easy going on dates and subsequently explaining your weird voice change, no matter how much you try to lighten the mood. Note to anyone dating with VNS: do not make inappropriate jokes to not make it weird, because it just makes it weirder! Example, “Yes, I will depend on a device for the rest of my life, but don’t most women?” Ooops…now you’re the seizure girl that can’t even read social cues.
In the last year, I have gone on a lot of different adventures to find my sweet, quirky, shilveress Loyd Dobler. I had gone speed dating, been on app dates, and just about any other kind of dating you can think of. Finally, I decided to go out and find someone the old fashioned way. Like the cute old couples in “When Harry Met Sally.” I want to be the old woman that says, “You know like you know about a good melon.” I was getting out and feeding the homeless in full makeup, including eyelashes, just in case my future husband was out there. My guy was not, but his friend Casey was, and she invited me to a Halloween party happening that same night. She told me she had some single friends I might be interested in, and that one of them was forty-seven. I thought “Oh I would never be interested in him, but let’s see if anyone else is there!”
I walked into my future Lloyd Dobler’s condo in the worst put together sailor costume ever. Everyone thought I was some kind of patriotic nurse. Then I met him, and I liked him right away. He was fun, outgoing, hilarious, and could do impressions of all the journalists from Dateline, so that was an automatic plus. His John Megawitz impression was uncannily good. We had a great time and talked most of the night, but I only thought of him as a friend, just because of the age difference. Then, for the next two months, I got to know him better and better, and my perspective started to change. He came to every event I invited him to, took me out to lunch, texted me funny stuff he drew during the day, and made me laugh. Then all of a sudden, I thought “I really, really like him – he’s much more than just a friend!” By New Year’s we were in a steady relationship.
There is a line in Say Anything where Lloyd Dobler says, “ I love your daughter, I am good at it!” Living with a disability, sometimes it’s hard to believe that anyone is going to be loving and understanding of your medication schedules, always needing to have your VNS magnet on you, or even waiting four you to get your driver’s license. And yet, I realize that I actually found someone who isn’t saying “Well, in spite of the epilepsy, you’re great.” He just celebrates me and thinks I am great just the way I am. I often think about how lucky I am, and I am still so happy that I went to that Halloween party.
By the way, I’ve started a singles group called Swipe Right for people that just want to mix, mingle, and meet! If you’re tired of the online thing and you would like to join a fun group activity once a month, please message me on Facebook or join the Swipe Right FB page!