About a month ago, I went on a mission to find a date for my friend DeeDee’s wedding. I utilized three dating apps and was just altogether more open to dating. I wasn’t going for a Lloyd Dobler, stereo over your head in front of your window, “ I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen” type of thing. I was more looking for a Carry Grant like in Bringing Up Baby. I wanted a lot of witty banter, easy on the eyes, and something I wouldn’t mind watching it again even if it didn’t make complete sense. In the end, I had some amazing experiences and some, “ OK, I should of been drinking for that to happen” experiences. Going over my plethora of dating experiences, I realized that dating is a lot like going to Disneyland. Do you remember wanting to go to Disneyland so badly, you would always be on your best behavior in front of your parents so that they would take you? Well, I must admit that I have told a few guys that I love to be active and workout just to get them interested when in fact, I actually hate working out! I do do it every morning, but I seriously want to punch the perky Turbo Fitness lady in the face every morning! How can anyone get that excited about jumping rope and squats? When you really want to land a date, you tend to only stretch the best side of yourself and be on your best behavior.
When you finally get to Disneyland, how do you behave? Do you slowly walk hand in hand simply enjoying each others company? Does he treat you to a turkey leg and you watch fireworks together while he oh so politely puts his hand on your lower back? I have noticed that the guys I met on the apps all tend to be really big fans of going straight to Space Mountain. They want to get to the best ride right away, and since you’re on an app, they assume you do too. In fact, some girls are completely willing to enjoy space mountain by themselves and then share the pictures of them enjoying the ride with guys they don’t know that well. I just started app dating, so I generally think, “ I just realized I was tall enough for this ride, so maybe we could get some cotton candy, take in a parade, go to the tea cups and I can try my hand at working the wheel.” Disneyland and dating are both a lot of fun, but are also a lot of work.
I am really glad I did this experiment because I was more open to meeting different people. I wasn’t thinking too seriously like about what challenges our children may face because it was just for a wedding date. As I had a time restraint before the wedding day and wanted to set up dates, I needed to show interest at a rather fast pace. The old me had no sense of time and would wait a week, and be surprised when they weren’t interested anymore. With three apps I got three dates, all of which turned out to be rather nice, interesting guys, and I really enjoyed myself. If you are going on apps to find a relationship, you should write that you are not looking for a hook-up. I did not bother to write that, so I think I was a bit of a disappointment for some guys when it did not end as such. You should always meet at a safe location and never, ever get in their car. Since I was so much more open to dating people, I also met a guy on a plane on my way to the bachelorette party in Vegas. He was super nice and we exchanged numbers. In the end, I had three people I thought would be fun wedding dates. Then I had to break the unfortunate news that “it is a dry wedding, it’s in Rancho Cucamonga, and you are not going to be sitting with me most of the time.” The response on all fronts was, “Maybe you and I can just hang out again when we can actually see each other in a more casual environment.” I totally understood it, but naturally, I was a little bummed out.
The wedding day came and, I was thinking I was actually glad I didn’t have a date because I was so busy and would not have had time to introduce a date to anyone. Then, during the reception, the nicest, most easy on the eyes (and I feel he might have had some Loyd Dobler potential) type of guy walked up to me, and we had a great conversation. I had never been so happy not to have a date than in that moment.