How do you prepare for speed dating? How do you prepare to get punched in the face by a monkey? You can’t! There is no way of preparing for this amazing, entertaining, and really enlightening experience. Speed dating is like walking into Costco and taking thirteen random people and going on a six minute date with them. You have the perverted butcher that thinks it’s really funny every time someone says, “ I want your sausage.” Then there’s the kind of cute stock boy that you walk super slow in the aisle for just so he will notice you. The sample guy that might have an eye issue, but that gouda is worth it so you just look down and grab it. The monotoned checker that makes comments about everything you buy, which is kind of embarrassing, because there is a lot of Fiber 1 items in your basket. By the way, did you know they have fiber gummies? How amazing is that?
We have all heard that saying, “ You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” This is a great saying, but do we practice it? I learned on Monday night that I should. I had some really nice conversations and fun experiences with some guys I probably would never had talked to, had I not endeavoured to try speed dating.
I walked into Darya restaurant at the appointed time, and noticed that there were a lot of single people there already. At first, it was kind of like a junior high dance. To one side was a group of girls pretending to be on their phones, and to another side, a group of guys pretending to be on their phones. I was lucky enough to meet two really nice girls who were there for the first time as well. We exchanged our feelings about the event, and also our phone numbers. Then, the head lady called us to our assigned tables and the games began!
I must say, at the beginning, it was a little awkward. You are at a table for six minutes with a complete stranger, and you have to figure out something to talk about. I found out that one thing I had in common with a lot of the guys in the room was that we were late bloomers, and still had a lot to learn. I learned that a black pleather dress and a push up bra will get a lot of attention. One guy sat down, looked me up and down and said, “ That is a f***ing amazing dress.” It is an amazing dress, but I had also lathered myself with body tanner, put tons of black eyeliner on my eyes, and stuffed myself into that dress so as to be treated like Julia Roberts at the end of Pretty Woman, (and not at the beginning.)
I don’t know if I have talked about it, but I am a hot house flower. I don’t do a lot of outdoor sports or activities. Last time I went for a hike I thought my friend had a conspiracy to kill me. I saw a guy and I thought that’s my guy. I bet you he hatyes hikes and loves eating sherbert while watching movies. Oh I was right! He loves Quentin Tarantino movies and slurpees just like me. We totally bonded about how much we wanted a pigs in a blanket, and how everyone talks about the softball leagues their in and we just go along with it pretending to be into it. Do you know how exhausting it is pretending I like to be active? I don’t! The only reason I fit into that body hugging dress was some of my seizure meds make me lose my appetite, and my mom thinks body shaming me is a hobby like knitting or modge podge.
I give speed dating a 10 out of 10. I had a really great time, and I suggest if you are single you do it. I would totally go again, and bring my friends. I also met some great girls, and we are going out again so it was very beneficial. I think this would be awesome for someone that doesn’t date a lot because it gets you into it really fast. You just have to know, it’s a numbers game and you can’t get your feelings hurt. I hope you all get out and start dating!!!