Have you mastered dating? I totally haven’t! I have a couple of dreams in my life. The first is to be the girl in the black dress in the Michael Jackson video, “ The Way you Make Me Feel.” The second is to be an amazing, strong, and confident dater. I was recently talking to my new friend Vincent, who is on a dating app. Vincent, like myself, is a bit of a late bloomer. As I was talking to him, a stroke of genius hit me: we could go on a practice date together and then tell each other what to work on. I must admit, I kind of got this idea from Steve Harvey. These girls would go on these horrible first dates, watch themselves, and then fix it for the next guy. Instead of having Steve Harvey and a camera crew, I had Vincent as my source of utter honesty. We promised each other we would be completely honest, yet still remain friends. The result: I feel like everyone should do this with a trusted friend, because it’s a lot of fun!
Vincent picked me up and we went to The Anaheim Packing District. FYI, this is a great date place, because there are a ton of food options in a really cool environment. I came prepared with first date questions to break the ice, and to get to know him better. Vincent is unlike anyone I have ever met, but in a good way. I am pretty convinced he is the last von Trapp child after Gretel, and I think he hears the theme tune to The Andy Griffith Show when he walks. He is a great person and he will make a great husband someday.
We started with grilled cheese and questions about pet peeves. Vincent’s were totally normal. He simply didn’t like doing things out of obligation. This question happened to be where my freak flag flies. I think I should stay away from this question. My pet peeves are mostly grounded in children’s apparel, which I know sounds completely insane. I hate any kind of light-up children’s shoes. It is as if a little four year old were running around taunting me, and they could give me a seizure. The McDonalds play-place is like my version of hell! The other children’s clothing I dislike are the onesies that say, “I love My Mommy or Daddy.” Well, guess what! They’re only weeks old, and that’s not old enough to know whether they love their parents or not! It’s putting words in their mouth. Or on their shirt. Same thing. Why doesn’t Carters make onesies that say, “ My Attachment Parent Gave Me Anxiety,” “ My Mommy Thinks Measles are a Buzzword,” or “ I can tell she going to make me go to a lot of therapy.” Yes, I know these are all things I should not admit to on a first date. It may very well scare my date away. Fortunately, Vincent was a really good sport, totally went with it and just laughed with me.
Later on that evening, Vincent and me were conversing about things we have and haven’t done. As it turns out, we are pretty innocent, quirky people! The game kind of goes like this…have you ever smoked a cigarette? No! Can you quote all the words to Casablanca? Yes! Vincent also asked me if I read the Bible, to which I answered yes. I asked him if he does anything artistic, and it turns out he sometimes makes wire sculptures! Hi answer was “why, yes I have been perfecting them since High School!” Last but not least, through this get to know you game I found out Vincent has not danced even ONE day in his life! He was telling me this and I was just picturing a young Ren McCormick dancing his little heart out in a white tank, because dancing was banned in the city of Beaumont. I can’t imagine ever hearing the song “Where have all the good men gone” and not wanted to get up like a tight jeaned Ren McCormick and dance. I must admit, I did feel a little bad for making him feel weird for not liking something I liked so much. It’s just that I was so flabbergasted! Nonetheless, I realized I do need to be more understanding of people’s differences. After all, I am a dyslexic epileptic with a spinal cord condition, so I don’t know why I wouldn’t be understanding. In that regard, I do feel like I learned a valuable lesson from the practice date.
I feel as though those of us that have such a disease are inclined to feel quite vulnerable, and so sometimes it is easy to get stuck on a certain point and not want to budge because it might require making yourself vulnerable on another level. Despite this, it may very well be worth it to take the risk. I was lucky because I had a really nice guy agree to something kind of weird like a practice date. I certainly hope you have a friend you can do a practice date with. If you do, please write in and tell me about it!